Mypalmike's Rare Caption Contest

"Damn! Just my luck. My insurance only covers me if I get impaled with one pick!"

By Tim H

Runner up:

Winner of the PICK-2 LOTTO
By Kathy H

The H family must be very proud today indeed!

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... Honey, no, I just went to the park for a jog. No, darling, I promise you I am not wearing the Robin Hood costume right now...

By jtron09

Somewhat dishonorable mention:
Yeah it's me, Little John.
No, no - it's like when they call a fat guy "Slim".
I promise you, Maid Marian, you won't be disappointed. No, not like Robin's slender little arrow.
Oh yeah, I'll hit your bulseye.
Alright - when he goes out to rob the rich, then.
Yes, call me.
By JohnnyB

Somebody's got issues:
"...so, then she says, 'I swear to God I'm fucking going to take this fucking ball and shove it down your fucking throat, you hear that? I swear to God.' All I can think is 'Oh my god!'"
By Tim H

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Never forget... that there's bad music out there.

"...and I say, in freakin' Utah you can text while driving!"

By Tim H

Second place:

Dude 1: Look, I spun the bottle and it pointed at you.

Dude 2: I don't care. I ain't kissing you. Just spin again until it points at Raylene over there.

By JohnnyB

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These Chanel glaucoma glasses totally heighten my other senses. Like, I'm talking to you on my cell but I swear it sounds like you're sitting right to me.

By Dirk McGirk

Runner up:

"Hello, Mom....can you pick us up? My friend's mom can't understand where to come get us. We're at the corner with all the street signs sitting on a round thing."
By Becky

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"Hello, Target? Do you deliver toilet paper?"
"No, not you, Mom, I have the store on the other line. Okay, so first I sit down... What? Lift the seat? You didn't say that."
"Yeah, I'm here. No, I need the toilet paper like right now. Can you send it by courier?"
"I'm listening mom. Wait, there's two seats. Do I lift both?"
"No courier? Okay, you're next to the Dominoes. I'll order a pizza and you send the paper with him."
"Okay, mom, so what do I do next?"

By JohnnyB

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I dunno. A six year old check of that size -- of that size -- might be a bit hard to cash, if you ask me.

By Kathy H

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