Mypalmike's Rare Caption Contest

His profile said he was hot, but when I showed up at the designated meeting place, I sure was surprised.

By Lauren

Runner up:
After a nasty break-up with Worcheshire Sauce, Mary finds solace in the arms of another.
By Kathy H
(Note, I left the "Worcheshire" spelled as is because there are at least 3 accepted spellings of the word, including "Wooster". Only those of us from Boston use the correct spelling, which is "Woostah".)

Classic cartoon reference:
"Tabasco, you crazy bastard! How the hell are you?"
By Tim H

Late entry worth mentioning:
"Shhh! Listen! If you put your ear up to it, you can hear farting noises!"
By JP

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Drew Barrymore takes feverish notes as Kevin Smith offers priceless directing tips

By "Richard Hine"

Runner up:
..then turn left on 19th street, take that all the way to Connecticut, turn right, go six blocks and MIT will be on your left. You can't miss it.
By JohnnyB

Maybe should have won but mypalmike is too damned P.C.:
"I've got a game. You close your eyes, bend over and tell me if I'm poking you with my finger... or this golf club... or something else.... Hey, why are you writing that down? I was just kidding. We're not just coworkers, we're friends, right? Oh come on Mindy, there's no need to go to HR."
By anon e. mouse

Meta meta:
MAN: Hey, you're that lady I saw on the internet, with the pencil and the big sunglasses and bag...

WOMAN: Oh, you must have seen me on Mypalmike's Caption Contest. I can get you on there, too! Here, I'll write the URL down.
By JP

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"Falcon just puked in this box. Any bidders? OK, suckers you had your chance. This is going on eBay right now."

By "Richard Hine" [sic]

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"This steel steering wheel feels almost as hard and cold as your heart, dad"

By Dirk McGirk

Second:
"I don't care what the GPS says, Sully, we are NOT somewhere over Pennsylvania; we are in the Hudson River."
By Johnny B

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RRRRRAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

By JohnnyB

Now I know what you're thinking. That's simply not funny. And you're right. But for some reason, it became funny to me when the correction came in:

sorry, I meant to write
RRRRRRAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
By JohnnyB

Runners up:
Mom, Mr. Moo and I are home!
By Allen

These flags represent my inner warrior! And this pony represents the time I caught my lying no-good bitch ex-wife cheating with my brother and I got revenge after I took the kids away from her in a lengthy, arduous custody battle which ended ironically the day the court awarded me custody and I celebrated by taking the kids to Mountain Creek but they went down a narrow water slide together head first and got stuck in the pool for over 20 minutes. The doctor said they died right away though, so I felt better. Plus guess who doesn't have to pay child support! Eat that, Nancy!
By Dirk McGirk

Monty Python reference award:
[Quote from "prejudice" sketch.]
By Kathy H

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"Damn! And I just got that tarp cleaned!"

By Tim H

Runner up:
Okay, pal, move along. No sleeping on the beach. Didn't you see the sign?
By JohnnyB

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Al Bumen's disemboweled body was tossed back into the carton as a warning to the others that attempts to escape were futile.

By JohnnyB

Runner up:
"...and the next thing I know, there's this baby bird crawling out of my skull."
By JP

Horrible pun award:
Curses! Fried by a jury of my peers. I guess the yoke's on me.
By Lauren

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