Mypalmike's Rare Caption Contest

Heather was horrified to discover she had a dose of the clap.

By George

Lots of excellent captions today. Worth reading through.

Brevity-is-the-soul-of-wit runner-up award:
"WE'RE NUMBER TEN! YAAAAY!"
By JP (perhaps inspired by Big Sis)

Dishonorable mention:
Rejected E-Harmony profile number 5625. 27 Single female jogging enthusiast with huge orange hands seeks single male 30-40 of any race with a huge d_ck.
By greggo72

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What do you get when you cross a wild ape and a pumpkin? Sas-squash.

By thogwummpy

Honorable mention:
Koko liked kittens just fine, until he found out about pumpkins. Mmm, pumpkins.
By apple juice is a verb

Cringe-inducing pun award:
Oh my gourd! There's a gorilla in our yard!!!
By Big Sis

Dishonorable mentions:
I never thought doing this with a pumpkin could be so....well...satisfying.
By AXXel

"Yes, that is a gourd covering my genitals, but I am nevertheless glad to see you."
By JP

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Not only can the new IPod Pouch hold your precious Ipod, but it has compartments for rolling papers, pipes, dimebags and most brands of lighters.

By greggo72

Honorable mention:
Steve Jobs, the original iPod Grouch.
By Big Sis

Overly contrived, dishonorable mention:
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce a new Iphone application called the I-DOUCH. Leave off the last "E" for EASY because it really is. Simply click on the I-DOUCH icon on the main page...do we have any volunteers?
By greggo72

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Eliza Bates, current Thai boxing champion (Females with Scoliosis Division) trains for her next bout.

By Tim H

Runners up:
"I'll show you a sweet Hawaiian punch!"
By Johnny V

"The American Kickboxing Association is taking a stand against testicular cancer."
By apple juice is a verb

I'm not sure what to make of this one:
Red shorts at night, boxers' delight.
Red shorts at morn, boxers' warn.
By Kathy H

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Last idiot in the pool lives the longest.

By Allen

Runners up:
Synchronized Stupid
By JohnnyB

Ford, General Motors and Chyrsler
By AXXel

Thanks once more to jtron for her voting help. (Not the same jtron as on Metafilter.)

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One wonders which of the five planes McCain "lost" this cartoon refers to.

By Sybil

I guess it's more of a commentary than a caption. But there you have it.

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While Amy was adept at cooking the heroin and getting it into the syringe, the tying-off-the-arm part completely eluded her.

By George

Runner up:
Sarah Palin's sister, Betty, has yet to figure out that you look at videotape within the machine.
By zarkmud

Special "Buggles" award:
Missy takes out her revenge on the video, for killing the radio star.
By Big Sis

Thanks to jtron again for assistance in tallying the electoral votes.

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