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Caption Contest: 11 February, 2010
That's right, Frank. We're finished. What? You want your diamond back? No problem.
By jim cavanaughI also very much liked these ones, in order of arrival:
The sex is great, though he's not much at cuddling afterward.
By JohnnyB
"Room service? I'd like the turkey club and an iced tea please. And could you give me a side order of three live mice? Yes, that will be all."
By Richard Hine
Hello, Adam? It's Eve. I have someone you simply HAVE to meet. Okay, about an hour at the orchard. See you then!
By Lauren
Maude, listen to me...just listen..I am telling you, Maude, once you have a snake you will never, ever consider a steady boy friend. Oh, and Maude...what deodorant do you use? Hold on, there is some jackass at the door from the future. FedEx? Just what the hell is FedEx?
By AXXel
You won't believe the new app on my phone.
By scott evans
"Hello, do you have...giggle...Prince Albert in the can?"
By Kathy H
"Ladyboy Godiva's Palace of Pleasure. Uh huh, oh yeah. 5. No, not 5 inches, 5 feet. Green. Smells? Florida wetlands in the summertime. No, you heard that right. Uh, huh, silk. I made it myself on this here table I use for sewing, ironing, and spanking naughty boys like you."
By Dirk McGirk
"Yo,Dolemite, why you be sendin' me on these freaky jobs. You told me this f__king John said he had a snake in his pants and I was like, been there done that, honey. And then poof, it's a mother f__king real snake!".
By greggo72
And of course:
Tim, here's the deal...Mike's dead. You can have the site for $10. Your bid of $5.00 is just a little insulting to his memory and all. Yes, you can have the god damn snake. What the hell is it with you guys?
By AXXel
Follow up:
I found today's image while searching google's Life archives for the word "charming".
45 comments
Comment from: JohnnyB [Visitor] · http://johnnyb-lateforthesky.blogspot.com/
The sex is great, though he's not much at cuddling afterward.
02/11/10 @ 07:56
Comment from: JohnnyB [Visitor] · http://johnnyb-lateforthesky.blogspot.com/
Fortunately for me, he's not a breast man. The old saying "more than a handful is wasted" is very apropos.
02/11/10 @ 07:59
Comment from: JohnnyB [Visitor] · http://johnnyb-lateforthesky.blogspot.com/
Front desk? Can you send up a snake handler - oh, and how about a phone FROM THE 21ST CENTURY!?
02/11/10 @ 08:01
Comment from: Richard Hine [Visitor]
"Room service? I'd like the turkey club and an iced teas please. And could you give me a side order of three live mice? Yes, that will be all."
02/11/10 @ 14:52
Comment from: Richard Hine [Visitor]
"Yes, just one iced tea. Thanks for confirming. But please hurry up with the mice."
02/11/10 @ 14:53
Comment from: Richard Hine [Visitor]
"You can call him a snake all you like, but Sammy treats me right."
02/11/10 @ 14:55
Comment from: Tim H [Visitor]
"Oh, yeah? Well, why don't you come up here and kiss my asp!"
02/11/10 @ 15:29
Comment from: Kathy H [Visitor]
"Good afternoon. Arizona Diamondbacks. How may I help you?"
02/11/10 @ 17:37
Comment from: Lauren [Visitor]
Hello, Adam? It's Eve. I have someone you simply HAVE to meet. Okay, about an hour at the orchard. See you then!
02/11/10 @ 18:01
Comment from: AXXel [Visitor] · http://www.obamaistoast.us
Maude, listen to me...just listen..I am telling you, Maude, once you have a snake you will never, ever consider a steady boy friend. Oh, and Maude...what deodorant do you use? Hold on, there is some jackass at the door from the future. FedEx? Just what the hell is FedEx?
02/13/10 @ 10:41
Comment from: jim cavanaugh [Member] 
That's right, Frank. We're finished. What? You want your diamond back? No problem.
02/14/10 @ 18:57
Comment from: jim cavanaugh [Member]
Circus Lady don't shave her armpits for nobody!
02/14/10 @ 21:25
Comment from: Tim H [Visitor]
"Hello? Yes, I'd liked to report a stabbing. Two blue mice just cut up an orange cat. Yes, orange. Please hurry!"
02/16/10 @ 14:50
Comment from: Kathy H [Visitor]
"Hello, do you have...giggle...Prince Albert in the can?"
02/16/10 @ 14:53
Comment from: JohnnyB [Visitor] · http://johnnyb-lateforthesky.blogspot.com/
"Hello?
Yes, this is she.
A large orange rodent?
Sure, we can make the body disappear like a rat through a snake.
You have the 5 G's?
Be right there."
Yes, this is she.
A large orange rodent?
Sure, we can make the body disappear like a rat through a snake.
You have the 5 G's?
Be right there."
02/16/10 @ 16:07
Comment from: Dirk McGirk [Visitor]
Back in 1935, women preferred growing bountiful body hair, being put on hold, and found clever alternatives for for clitoral stimulation.
02/16/10 @ 22:04
Comment from: Dirk McGirk [Visitor]
"Ladyboy Godiva's Palace of Pleasure. Uh huh, oh yeah. 5. No, not 5 inches, 5 feet. Green. Smells? Florida wetlands in the summertime. No, you heard that right. Uh, huh, silk. I made it myself on this here table I use for sewing, ironing, and spanking naughty boys like you."
02/16/10 @ 22:56
Comment from: Wile E. Chipotle [Visitor]
Great grandma Myrtle's phone sex service was way ahead of its time.
02/17/10 @ 13:54
Comment from: AXXel [Visitor] · http://www.obamaistoast.us
OK, listen Maude. Here is the deal. We have a bunch of trucks, see...we pick up packages and letters and shit like that all over the country...see...got it so far? OK, then we stick all these packages in DC-3's and send them to Atlanta...yeah, Atlanta and then, get this Maude, we send those packages back out on the same DC-3's. Wadda think, Maude? No Maude, I am not playing with snakes anymore...not since I got out.
02/17/10 @ 15:38
Comment from: jim cavanaugh [Member]
Yeah, I've gotta, ohh, go. I can't hold him off any longer, ahh, he's rubbing my nipples.
02/17/10 @ 15:56
Comment from: Richard Hine [Visitor]
"Is this the hotel manager? Yes, thank you very much for the welcome gift, but I think there's been some mistake. I'm actually the sales manager for a bathroom supply company. Oh, I see, my travel agent filled in the job title as Rep Tiles. Yes, I see the confusion. But do you think you could send someone up to take this fucking snake out of my room? And could I possibly get some antivenin and an extra pillow, too? Thank you so much."
02/18/10 @ 07:32
Comment from: jim cavanaugh [Member]
Yes, he was incredible, but I fear I've thrown out my hip.
02/19/10 @ 21:26
Comment from: Dirk McGirk [Visitor]
"this is Mrs. Mike with the results for the Semi-Annual Caption Contest. I'm calling for Mr. Mike who can't seem to keep his snake in his pants these days."
02/21/10 @ 20:23
Comment from: Tim H [Visitor]
"Yes, apparently it's been abandoned. No, not the snake, Mypalmike's Fortnightly Caption Contest."
02/22/10 @ 13:50
Comment from: JP [Visitor]
Dude, I think this bong is broken. Oh wait, maybe not -- I'm seeing snakes! Whoa.
02/23/10 @ 18:09
Comment from: jim cavanaugh [Member]
That's correct, doctor. We feed him once a fortnight. Apparently he's having some difficulty digesting.
02/23/10 @ 20:52
Comment from: greggo72 [Member]
"Yo,Dolemite, why you be sendin' me on these freaky jobs. You told me this f__king John said he had a snake in his pants and I was like, been there done that, honey. And then poof, it's a mother f__king real snake!".
02/23/10 @ 22:15
Comment from: greggo72 [Member]
"I'd like to speak to Doctor Moore, my gynecologist. Yes I'll hold.....yes Doctor I have a medical question....what does it mean if a three foot python crawls out of my hey nanner nanner?"
02/23/10 @ 22:22
Comment from: greggo72 [Member]
"Yes, hi is this the TV show 'Cheaters'?...my boyfriend is a real snake in the grass and I think I have proof"
02/23/10 @ 22:24
Comment from: Kathy H [Visitor]
"That's right, Mom. I'm one of the last three girls and I'm sure Jake will give me a rose at the ceremony tonight. What's that? Oh, no, I still haven't told him about Skeeter."
02/24/10 @ 16:50
Comment from: JohnnyB [Visitor] · http://johnnyb-lateforthesky.blogspot.com/
WINNER:
Lauren: Hello, Adam? It's Eve. I have someone you simply HAVE to meet. Okay, about an hour at the orchard. See you then!
RUNNER UP:
jim cavanaugh: That's right, Frank. We're finished. What? You want your diamond back? No problem.
HONORABLE MENTION:
JohnnyB: Front desk? Can you send up a snake handler - oh, and how about a phone FROM THE 21ST CENTURY!?
Lauren: Hello, Adam? It's Eve. I have someone you simply HAVE to meet. Okay, about an hour at the orchard. See you then!
RUNNER UP:
jim cavanaugh: That's right, Frank. We're finished. What? You want your diamond back? No problem.
HONORABLE MENTION:
JohnnyB: Front desk? Can you send up a snake handler - oh, and how about a phone FROM THE 21ST CENTURY!?
02/26/10 @ 13:46
Comment from: Richard Hine [Visitor] · http://twitter.com/richardhine
"Operator... I'm still holding. And by the way, my snake has died."
02/26/10 @ 15:21
Comment from: JohnnyB [Visitor] · http://johnnyb-lateforthesky.blogspot.com/
I use the snake to "tally my votes", if you know what I mean.
03/08/10 @ 12:48
Comment from: Richard Hine [Visitor] · http://twitter.com/richardhine
If you see MyPalMike, tell him to stop elongating his tallywacker and come deal with this six-foot snake
03/10/10 @ 16:53
Comment from: jim cavanaugh [Member]
That's correct, a veteranarian. This fucking snake has spent her entire gestation period on this desk and she's about to pop.
03/24/10 @ 22:36
Comment from: Richard Hine [Visitor] · http://twitter.com/richardhine
Hello, aliinla, we need some help here.
03/29/10 @ 19:23
Comment from: AXXel [Visitor] · http://www.obamaistoast.us
Tim, here's the deal...Mike's dead. You can have the site for $10. Your bid of $5.00 is just a little insulting to his memory and all. Yes, you can have the god damn snake. What the hell is it with you guys?
04/02/10 @ 15:34
Comment from: Tim H [Visitor]
AXXel, I just checked my Bloomberg terminal and found out that economic indicators show that even $5.00 is too much to pay.
04/02/10 @ 15:51
Comment from: Tim H [Visitor]
Maybe in 3 days mypalmike will rise from the dead. Or not. Either way.
04/02/10 @ 15:53
Comment from: Dirk McGirk [Visitor]
Tim H, you have a bloomberg terminal? ? I'll MSG GO u.
04/07/10 @ 17:00
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